March 2020 - Page 2 of 3 - DEW Consulting

March 19, 2020March 20, 2020

Where’s Waldo?

I dunno, maybe it’s just me.

But it sure seems that the advent of the apocalypse

has done good things for cartoon humor.

Gotta love Waldo at least.

Thanks, New Yorker!

Where's Waldo?

It beats yet another ‘Scheduling Your Home Schooler’s Day’ infographic, though this next one is pretty funny.

And then of course, there’s this one for the knitters among us.

But for my money, this one’s at least first runner up.

And this one? Simply the best.

Lighten up, people. It’ll all be over soon enough.

<Oooo, that sounded much more ominous than I intended.>

Ah well, enjoy. And hey…

Where’s Waldo?

Bonus Parent/Teacher content, below.

March 19, 2020March 19, 2020

I am honestly, truly, very, very sorry. But after seven straight posts on Coronavirus, I’ve reached a saturation point. That is why I’m breaking longstanding tradition today to post humor from one of my favorite satire sites, The Borowitz Report. The title? “Fox News To the Rescue.” You’ll have to click the link to see it all, here. But rest assured, Hunter Biden news is better than no news. And it’s much much better than the usual economy/virus gloom and doom dominating the MSM these days. So, thank you sincerely, Fox News. For the first time in forever, you’ve made my day. Well, at least as filtered through The Borowitz Report you’ve made my day. We all take our victories where we can. That is all.

Fox News To The Rescue via Borowitz

Andy Borowitz is a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.

March 17, 2020June 8, 2020

Who’s on First?

Those of you “of a certain age” (and you know who you are!) will remember the baseball version of “Who’s on First?” by Abbott and Costello. Below is the updated version of “Who’s on First?” made current for these times of pandemic when it’s the World Health Organization that’s our new preoccupation and national pastime.

Who's on First?

March 16, 2020March 17, 2020

No March Madness – No Problem!

Gotta love the Iditarod.

The coronavirus has stopped virtually all North American sports events in their tracks. But in Alaska, the Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race is mushing on. The Iditarod began outside of Anchorage last weekend, before an array of major sports announced cancellations and postponements. Race leaders are now more than halfway down the trail, and while a post-race banquet and other celebratory events have been called off, there’s been no public discussion about stopping mushers and their dog teams before their finish in Nome. State health officials attribute that to the nature of the event — a 975-mile race through the Alaskan wilderness during which mushers are mostly on their own.

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Mush on!

And of course there’s this great followup story: The Pies of Takotna.

Along with a great pie recipe, below.

Eat more pies!

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Nell Huffman’s Blueberry Pie Recipe

Yield: makes One 9-inch Pie

Time: 1 hour, 30 minutes

Ingredients

Dough for two prepared pie crusts, homemade or store-bought

2 Tbsp. all-purpose flour, plus more for rolling the dough

½ cup sugar

¼ tsp. ground cinnamon

Quarter tsp. nutmeg

¼ tsp. kosher salt

6 cups (1 lb. 14 oz.) blueberries (fresh or frozen)

One tsp. vanilla extract

1 Tbsp. unsalted butter, cut into small pieces

One large egg yolk

1 Tbsp. whole milk

Coarse sanding sugar, for sprinkling (optional)

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Instructions

Preheat the oven (with one of its racks positioned in the lower third) to 400°F.
15 minutes before you plan to roll out the pie dough, remove it from the refrigerator and allow it to soften slightly. Lightly flour a clean work surface and a rolling pin and roll one of the pieces out to an even, ¼-inch thick circle, then carefully lift the dough into a 9-inch aluminum or glass pie plate. Use a sharp knife to trim the edges, leaving 1 inch of overhang all the way around. Set the shell aside while you make the filling.
To a large bowl, add the flour, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt and stir to combine. Add the blueberries and vanilla and toss well to coat, then transfer the filling to the reserved pie shell, mounding the berries slightly in the center. Dot with the butter and set the pie aside while you roll the top crust.
Once again, lightly flour your work surface and rolling pin. Roll the second piece of dough out to an even, ¼-inch thick circle, then carefully lift the dough over the pie. Use a sharp knife to trim the edges, leaving about 1½ inches of overhang all the way around, then tuck the edges of the top crust under the edges of the bottom crust. Pinch the edges together decoratively to seal, or crimp them all the way around with the tines of a fork. Use the tip of a paring knife to make 6–8 slits on the surface of the crust to vent. Transfer the pie to the freezer just until the crust is firm, about 15 minutes.
In a small bowl, beat together the egg yolk and milk. Brush the surface of the chilled pie crust with the egg wash and sprinkle with coarse sanding sugar, if desired. Place the pie on a large, rimmed baking sheet, transfer it to the oven, and bake until the crust is set and just beginning to brown, 20–25 minutes. Drop the temperature to 350°F and continue cooking until the crust is evenly golden brown and the juices are bubbling and thickened, 30–40 more minutes for fresh berries or 60–70 minutes for frozen. (If the edges begin to darken before the filling has thickened, cover them with strips of aluminum foil to finish baking.) Cool to room temperature before cutting into wedges and serving.

March 14, 2020March 15, 2020

I Lied

All right. I admit it. Yesterday’s post? I lied. So sue me. But the fact is, we really aren’t taking a break from blogging here at dewconsulting.net. In fact, you need this stuff now more than ever, what with the zombie apocalypse and all. So, without further ado, here’s the hilarious recipe for “The Original Quarantini.” Full spiel is here. Just the recipe is below. And remember: No stockpiling toilet paper. Stop it. Right NOW. I’m serious!

I Lied - Quarantini I Lied - TP

Quarantini good. TP hoarding bad, bad, bad, bad, BAD!

Would I lie to you? Of course not. OK, here’s the recipe.

Ingredients

3 oz vodka (or gin)
2 oz fresh squeezed lemon juice
1 tablespoon honey

Optional:

1 packet powdered vitamin c

Instructions

Add 2 cups ice to a cocktail shaker.
Add vodka, lemon juice and honey to shaker.
Shake, and then strain into a chilled martini glass.
Garnish with a lemon twist if desired.
ADDING VITAMIN C: If you want to add vitamin c, you can add it directly to the shaker when you add the rest of the ingredients or you can rim the chilled martini glass with vitamin c.
Enjoy. Life’s too short to hunker down and forego all pleasure. I mean it!

March 13, 2020March 15, 2020

100%

The website is down for a while. We need to do a deep cleaning here. No users have tested positive – for viruses or anything else. And we remain 100% spam free – a statistic that makes us inordinately proud. However, you can never be too careful, what with “flattening the curve” and all. So, out of an abundance of caution, we here at dewconsulting.net/blog are taking a brief break. The good news? I now get to work from home. The bad news? Well, I’m not 100% sure exactly where that’s gonna be. But hey, we all do what we gotta do.

So, hang in there, people. Chins up, masks off, and sneeze into your elbow. Wash your hands while singing your favorite melody. No need to stock up on anything but champagne and chocolate. Invest in real estate. Be kind to one another. And stay tuned for breaking developments on your late local news at 11. That is all.

100% useless graph — Graph included because everyone else has one, not because it means anything. For a graph to be a representation of reality, it has to report actual data. This one is propaganda that predicts somebody’s idea of future events. Take it for what it’s worth.

Less pseudo-science, more cartoons!

100% funny!

March 12, 2020March 12, 2020

Snail Mail

Today’s WOTD is “retronym.” “What’s that,” I hear you ask? Well, according to Merriam Webster, it’s a term such as analog watch or snail mail that is newly adopted to distinguish an older version of something from other, more recent versions. Retronym was coined by Frank Mankiewicz, American journalist and former president of National Public Radio. It was first seen in print in 1980.

Remember way back when cameras used film? Back then, such devices were simply called cameras. They weren’t specifically called film cameras until they needed to be distinguished from the digital cameras that came later. Similarly, the term desktop computer wasn’t often used until laptops became prevalent. A lot of our common retronyms have come about due to technological advances. Acoustic guitar emerged to contrast with electric guitar. Brick-and-mortar store is now used to distinguish traditional stores from online retailers.

You can get a good sense of the pace of change over the past century just by looking at the retronyms we’ve accumulated. New technologies have forced us to come up with terms like steam locomotive, silent movie, manual transmission, AM radio, day baseball, and conventional oven.

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Got any other favorite retronyms?

Other than “snail mail,” of course.

That’s my personal favorite.

March 10, 2020March 10, 2020

No Seconds

Just the title of “

The NY Times article on these photos – written by a British restaurant critic – calls this “a peculiarly American fascination.” Maybe part of the reason for that is a lot of other countries don’t have a death penalty. Either that or they don’t have quite as big a population of prisoners awaiting execution for quite as long a time as we do. Or maybe American exceptionalism is not a myth. Nevertheless, it’s a worthwhile exercise: What would YOU order? Frankly, we all could do a lot worse than Ted Bundy’s last meal menu, above. I mean, what could be more all-American than steak and eggs? Just remember: No seconds!

March 10, 2020

Essentials

This, right here. “Essentials” from our friend Jill up in Moorpark:

Just sayin’.

March 8, 2020March 8, 2020

Digitizing Old Photos

I guess digitizing old photos has become “a thing.” First, my nephew digitized 30 years worth of slides from my parents’ archives (’58 thru ’88). You can see some of those, here. Then our old neighbors/friends from Santa Monica uncovered a trove of early-90’s shots when our kids were very young. <Yes, Kate, you are in there too, after we arrived in Colorado.> For non-family, these will perhaps be of minimal interest – except maybe as background documentation of a pre-digital age. In any case, enjoy – or disregard – as you prefer. Me, I’m having a blast here.

Digitizing Old Photos - Kate's Birth Announcement

Digitizing Old Photos - Bonnet

Digitizing Old Photos - Go Lakers!

Digitizing Old Photos - Fab Four.

From the top: Kate’s birth announcement. Ben’s birth announcement. Rachel’s birth announcement. Bonnet. Wader. Cheeky. Boo boo. On Santa Monica beach. Angel asleep. Blondie. Go Lakers. That’s my boy. My 4 favorite creations. Happy times digging dirt.

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Special thanks to the digitizers: Kevin K, and below, Thom W.

You guys rock.

Digitizing Old Photos - Thom W.

Graduation Day.

(Hey, I told you this was gonna come out!)