Brouhaha Brewing

There’s a brouhaha brewing out on the Left Coast, specifically at the Fremont, CA plant that makes Teslas.  You might even call it a kerfuffle if you’re so inclined. But bear with me here. There are several strands of a story to unwind.  So, a little background’s in order. Or, read it in full, here.

For those possessed of an electric car, or those with reverence for Elon Musk, the serial entrepreneur who founded Paypal, Tesla, and SpaceX. Also for those familiar with Keanu Reeves’ role in the cult movie classic, “The Matrix”.  And last but not least, for those who follow Ivanka Trump on Twitter:  Prepare to be enlightened. For those with no interest in any of it? You’re excused. Be on your way, I won’t be offended. Oh, and also: Sorry, beer fans, it’s got nothing to do with microbrews. So, for you too, it’s “see you next time. ” For the rest of you? It’s “read on if you dare.”

Probably best to start at the end and work our way back to the beginning: Elon Musk’s tweet this week urged his followers to “choose the red pill.” That set off a firestorm of Internet reaction, including this from Ivanka Trump: “Taken!” What’s the big buzz?  Well, in “The Matrix,” Kenau Reeves’ character is given the choice of two alternative pills with different effects. In brief, “taking the blue pill” means succumbing to believing a blissful lie. “Taking the red pill” means committing to engage with gritty reality.

 

Simple, see?

 

What’s all this got to do with electric cars plus the POTUS’s daughter?  Well, it seems that – in Silicon Valley at least – “taking the red pill” has become somewhat of a fixation for Right-leaning hipsters who tend to question prevailing wisdom on everything from social policy, to – well – COVID-19 and the sticky matter of reopening of the economy.

So, how did Elon and Ivanka end up such unlikely bedfellows? Aye, thereby hangs this tale. Like all businesses, Musk’s factory in Fremont was shut down by the State of California’s stay-at-home order.  That cost him a small fortune. <Well, small for him, but big for most of the rest of us.>  Demand for Teslas is high. They’re selling like hotcakes. No product? No profit.  Got it?  Gooood.

So, like any good maverick mogul, Musk re-opens his factory in defiance of the State. Then, like any good billionaire with a hot finger on the Twitter button, he threatens to move his factory out of state. Then, he invites those enforcing Public Health orders to come down to the assembly line and arrest him, calls them “fascists,” in fact. Finally, he urges all his followers to “take the red pill.”

At this point, everyone on the Right stands up and cheers, while everyone on the Left looks at each other in bafflement. How can a progressive icon producing a cool electric car that’s become the poster child for personal transport among the climate change crowd take such a subversive stand? And maybe more importantly, at least if yer a Netflix exec, I hope yer taking notes here, because there hasn’t been a story line this juicy since Season One of Mad Men.  But I digress.

 

For those of you faithful readers who’ve endured to this point, here’s a little free bonus content from the dim mists of times past. Enjoy.

 

Back when I was a little boy, I lived in a one horse town that also came with one stop light and one doctor, a man we used call ‘Doc Flick.”  William Flickinger, MD was the only medical game in town for all your ailments. Oh, and also, he smoked cigars. Not just at leisure, mind you, but while he was examining you. (Think: Season One of Mad Men, with Bert Cooper as the good doctor, the glowing ash of his cigar stub one inch from your unprotected eyeball as he listens to your chest with a stethoscope.)

On the big mahogany desk in this office there sits a gallon jar full of little red pills. These are not the dull red of Advil, but shiny bright red. I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure Doc Flick’s red pills were placebos. Why?  If you had a cold, you’d take home a packet of little red pills. Skinned knee? Same red pills. Hell, he probably even gave my mom a few on her way over to the hospital to have her gall bladder removed. Red pills:  They’re good for what ails ya.

 

Bottom line?

 

When Elon Musk says “Take the red pill,” my first thought is NOT Kenau Reeves or The Matrix.  It’s Doc Flick, with his cigar and that jar full of placebos. Lucky for some, we’ve grown up a bit since the 60’s. That’s why not all of us are as likely as others to get fooled by a slick huckster peddling the libertarian industrial version of little red pills, meanwhile blowing cigar smoke in your face.  Hey, you’re welcome to believe whatever you like.  It’s still a free country after all. But by this point,  some of us have “gritty reality” down cold. So – thanks anyway, Elon – no red pills for me.  And you can quote me on that too.