Something Hilarious In a Pandemic Sort of Way

On this the last day of 2020, here‘s something multimedia from the NYT Opinion Pages that I found hilarious in a pandemic sort of way. It’s called “Your Dog Had the Best Year Ever.” Your favorite? Mine’s “Zoom: A boom year for video calls – unless your name rhymes with Meffrey Sloobin.” Or maybe, “Stationary Bikes:  a metaphor.” And just so you know, I was rocking the “Home Haircut” thing long before anyone ever heard of the Coronavirus. We’re talking decades here.

 

Something Hilarious, In a Pandemic Sort of Way, Mom/Dad/me
Dad always cut my hair at home, and usually clipped my earlobe just to show he cared.

 

I do have a couple of questions, however. First and foremost, since I’m not an Instagrammer:  What’s the deal with “Black Squares?” Maybe someone more social media savvy than me can explain.   Also, if anyone has any idea why the stock market is peaking just NOW, please share because  I and the rest of the investing public would dearly love to know. (If ever there was something hilarious in a pandemic sort of way, this is it.)  And just for the record, I do not hate my in-laws, I love them. Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa.

 

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Happy New Year, y’all.

Stay safe. Stay flexible.

And most importantly,

watch out for those earlobes.

Sometimes the Funny Ones Sneak Up on You

Sometimes the funny ones sneak up on you.

 

Sneak Up
“The first rule of book club is we don’t tell anyone we’re selling cocaine.”

 

And other times they just clobber you over the head.

Can’t tell which kind this New Yorker cartoon is.

But it did make me spit out my coffee.

That’s something at least.

Right?

 

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I haven’t really read anything as substantial as a novel – or as frivolous as a murder mystery – since last March when I dropped 40 lbs and lost my taste for coffee. I can’t really explain it, even in the face of two negative COVID antibody tests, but something sure changed. In any case, I got a copy of Anthony Horwitz’s “The Sentence is Death” for Christmas. So I’m dipping my big toe cautiously back into the literary waters. Since I’ve only made it to Chapter 2 thus far, the final review will have to wait for Twelfth Night – or maybe for Epiphany. But in any case, all’s well that ends well:  I got my taste for coffee back. And the book club still has its secret sneak up sauce. But please don’t tell anybody. That’s the first rule of book club. And the last one too.

Happy WFH – Working From Home – New Year

Just in time for year’s end, here‘s a thought-provoking article on WFH – Working From Home – titled “Are You Sure You Want to Go Back to the Office?” The gist of it is, NO, Virginia, you really don’t. And as someone who spent 14 years commuting long distance, and another 4 years flying back and forth to remote work destinations, I concur.  Believe me when I tell you, downtown Topeka is NOT where you want to be spending extended time away from friends and family for work!

 

WFH - working from home - Ichabods!

 

For those averse to clicking and reading, here’s the lead…

 

There’s a common refrain among people who’ve been marooned in their homes this year, trying to manage their jobs and their children’s distance learning, always fighting the losing battle against the dishes, the laundry, the dog hair, the grocery list. “I cannot wait to get back to the office,” they say.

But people don’t really want to get back to the office. They want to get out of their apartments, their houses, their parents’ houses. They want their children back in school, also out of the house. They want to see people’s faces again, have conversations with people who are closer than six feet from them. But that doesn’t mean that they actually want to be back in the office. At least not the way the office was before.

 

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And for those who want more?

 Well, I guess you’ll just have to click and read.

Happy WFH – Working From Home – New Year.

And stay flexible, y’all.

 

Photo by Tina Witherspoon on Unsplash

‘Tis the Season for New Yorker Cartoons

‘Tis the season for New Yorker cartoons.

Here’s one from each of us.

 

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From Anne the sleep-deprived:

Tis the season: Anne
“I’m the Ghost of Christmas Just 5 More Minutes.”

 

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From Dan the early-riser:

'Tis the Season - Dan
“Hon, it’s not daytime yet. Those are just our neighbor’s Christmas lights.”

 

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From Rachel working from home:

Tis the season - Rachel

 

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From Ben the hacker:

Tis the Season - Ben
“Either Vladimir’s behavior has improved dramatically, or the Naughty and Nice Database has been hacked.”

 

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And to all a good night!

Oye Como Va – From Deep in the Archives

Here’s one from deep, deep, deep in the archives:  Oye Como Va!

 

From deep in the Archives - Oye Como Va

 

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I was gonna do a post about how, back in the day when I drove a SuperShuttle at LAX, I took the drummer from Santana home from the airport on Christmas eve and he gave me a $100 tip just because I took him to a liquor store and waited for him to come back out with a bagful of bottles of rum, tequila, and vodka. But then I thought, “No, who wants to hear a story like that?” So, forget I said anything, folks. You didn’t hear it from me.  Nope, mum’s the word.

 

Just sign me…. “Secret Santana.”

 

<I’m humming Oye Como Va here.  And now, I bet, you are too.>

 

Bonus quiz question

Translate “Oye Como Va” please.

Hint, hint: There’s more than one possible answer.

Extra credit if you get them both.

<C’mon, doesn’t anybody around here speak Spanish anymore?>

The answer’s here for those who can’t bear to wait.

And for those who want to relive a little of the vintage audio, it’s here.

Inside the Workshop of a Toy Inventor

It has been a while since my last post, so I’ve got a real treat saved up for you. The article’s from the New Yorker – by Ian Crouch. But the real gem is a short (18-minute) film embedded inside – by Lyn Goldfarb. The title is “Inside the Workshop of a Classic Toy Inventor.” It’s about a man named Eddy Goldfarb. And in case you didn’t put 2 and 2 together, Lyn is Eddy’s daughter.

Eddy was born in 1921 – same year as my dad. Over the course of all those years he invented 800+ classic toys. Some of them, like the chattering teeth, you’ve probably seen, maybe even owned. Others, like the solar powered waving windowsill plants, maybe not. But something about this story, and this man, captures my imagination. Perhaps it’s the combination of creative mechanical genius with a relentless spirit of optimism that really gets to me. Or maybe it’s just that I like the chattering teeth – I dunno. In any event, come with me inside the workshop of a toy inventor. You’ll be glad you did.

With all the crap we’ve endured in 2020, just in time for Christmas, here is a ray of sunshine, folks. Even if you don’t read the article, watch the film.  New Yorker article is here.  The film is linked inside the article. Note caption, below.

 

Inside the Workshop of a Toy Inventor

The inventor of more than eight hundred toys on why making playthings is a noble profession.

The Answer My Friend is Blowin’ in the Wind

Big news today in the business-of-music business from Sir Lucian Grainge, Chairman and CEO of Universal Music Group: Bob Dylan has sold his entire catalogue to UMG. The purchase price? The official answer to that one, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind. But insiders suggest Dylan’s 600 songs sold for something close to $300,000,000. And for those of you keeping score at home, that’s a half a mil of cold hard cheddar per song. And not just the greatest hits, mind you,  but the stinkers too.  For a guy with a Nobel Prize in Literature, are any of his songs stinkers? The answer to that one is of course “no.”

 

Read the full story, here. Bonus question, below.

 

Disclaimer:

 

Bonus question carries absolutely no financial reward.

What is Bob Dylan’s real name?

C’mon – THINK!

 

The Answer is Blowin' in the Wind - Robert Zimmerman
According to a spokesperson:  “Dylan had no comment.”

Haiku Journal 2020 – Writ by a Brit

Haiku Journal 2020 was writ by a Brit named Brian Bilston who bills himself as “The Unofficial Poet Laureate of Twitter,” or sometimes just as “A Poet Who Knows It.”  You can find more of his stuff at his FB site, here.  (Or here, for those of you who’ve sworn off social media.)  Enjoy. The first one’s by me. The rest are Brian’s.

 

Found this on FaceBook.

Thought it was hilarious.

Don’t like it? Sue me.

 

 

Haiku Journal 2020 by Brian Bilston

 

 

And for those of you who may have missed the bonus haiku last week,

click and check out the bottom of this one.

But do it fast before they

 

 

Bravo Melania

See the shockingly normal 2020 White House Christmas trees here.  Note the following; and in response, I say – sincerely – “Bravo, Melania.”

 

Blood-red trees these are not.

 

The bold aesthetic choices that drew so much flak and snarky memes in Christmases past are noticeably absent. There are no blood-red trees, as there were in 2018, which various news outlets called “creepy” and “deeply haunted.” There is nothing akin to the icy, underlit branches of 2017 that turned the East Colonnade into what some likened to a barren, dystopian landscape.

 

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Perhaps we can all return now to some semblance of normal? Gotta be worth a shot. Below is me with what one snarky correspondent commented “looks a little puny on the bottom.” To which I can only reply…

 

Bravo Melania - Tree2020

 

“Hey, we can’t all be as well-endowed on the bottom as 45 was.”

 

Trump golfing

 

Guess we dub this one the inaugural salvo of the “Girther” movement?

Better late than never, that’s what _I_ always say.

Also:  Feliz Navidad, y’all!