Posted on by Dan Wolf

Quandary

Today’s post posed a real quandary. On the one hand, today is the 147th anniversary of Mrs. O’Leary’s cow kicking over her lantern in the barn that started the great Chicago fire of 1871.  On the other hand, I just got another Covenant Notice from our HOA suggesting some additional exterior maintenance on our townhouse.  And since I don’t do political wrangling anymore, this got my latent creative juices flowing…

So, Chicago Fire?

Or, Roxborough Homeowners Association?

Aw, hell:  Caution to the wind.  You can read all about the Great Chicago Fire here. But nowhere else than in these pages can you read about my travails with the Covenant Nazis.

Enjoy, gentle reader.

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Dear Sir or Madam:

Re: Your letter dated August 13.  We now have the approved paint (“Behr Premium Ultra 100% Acrylic Exterior Satin Enamel – Creamy Mushroom #PPU5-13 from Home Depot”) for the side door on our garage.  We will do the requested painting this month.  One question: Since there is enough paint to also do the other garage door, and since that door looks to be in about the same shape as the side door, is it OK for us to add that to our to-do list without filing a separate Design Review Form?  Maybe just amend the form we already submitted? We’d really like to get this done before the snow flies. Or, if you like, we could append it to the new Design Review Form we’ll be submitting for the frayed outdoor carpet on our front steps (Re: Your letter dated October 1)? We don’t mind doing the necessary maintenance of course. And we certainly commend the diligent work of your fine snoopers skulking around our property with their iPads taking pictures (“on file with the management office”).  But the paperwork is getting to be a bit much. To quote your letter(s): “We realize that you may be unaware that there is a problem, however….” You do realize that only in 1940’s Germany were better records kept?

Yours in “maintaining a wonderful community,”

Etc, etc, etc.

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Don’t worry, I didn’t send it. Yet.  But I thought about it.

Amazing bonus photos here.

You know what? That carpet really does look a little frayed.

😉

ADDENDUM: Just talked with my neighbor who is on the HOA board and found out that the HOA’s management company has been given a notice of termination as of January 1, 2019. Oh, also, in the meantime all further snooping is halted and all existing covenant notices have been declared null and void. Woo hoo! Gotta love that frayed carpet, for at least a little while longer…

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