Month: September 2019

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Match Game

OK, today it’s time to play The Match Game.

“Match Game,” I hear you ask? “What’s that?”

Glad you asked….

 

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Below is a picture from the current week’s news.  It came from MSN or The Guardian, I think – where ever.  Below that are a series of captions (1 – 5) submitted by faithful readers of this blog.  Alongside are brief bios (A – E) of the commenters. Your job? Match the comment with the bio.  A special prize awaits anyone who gets them all right.  And to everyone else? The satisfaction of a job well done.

 

Ready… Set… Go!

 

Match Game
© AFP/Getty Images

 

The presidents of America and Ukraine relax before a press conference at the UN this week….

 

YOUR CAPTION HERE                                                   THE BRIEF BIO

1)  “Plan B?”                                                A) Parent of an OK college hoopster

2) “Relax!”                                                         B) Spouse of a Russian national

3) “And we thought Saakashvili was nuts…”   C) Blogger-in-chief

4) “This moron has a hot wife?”             D) Harvard-educated nurse

5) “This is the guy Putin wanted in office?”      E) Ex-marine

6) ____________???_____________        _________???___________

 

Thanks for playing!

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What I’ve Been Reading

Quick update on what I’ve been reading. I know, I know, you couldn’t care less. Most of you, anyway. But if you’re interested and aren’t planning on reading these, then feel free to read on. If you are interested and DO plan to read these – SPOILER ALERT! – stop right here. These are murder mysteries, after all.  Once you find out whodunit, what’s the point, right? So, you been warned. Enough with preliminaries. Here’s my take on Anne Hillerman (The Tale Teller) and Matt Goldman (The Shallows).

 

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Here’s the thing about detective mysteries: If you like the main character,  then the author has already won 90% of the battle. Because whatever plot twists and turns the author dreams up, there’s always gonna be a murder – or at least a spectacular heist.  There’s gonna be bad guys who are gonna get caught. And in addition there’s gonna be one or several subplots.  In the end it’s all gonna get woven together and tied up with a bow.  Truth and justice are gonna prevail.  And the main character – the sleuth – is gonna return next time to do it all over again. That’s how we get hooked. That’s how mystery writers piece together a career.  Simple, see?

Anne Hillerman is the daughter of Tony Hillerman who created the Navajo detective series many of us know and love.  She faithfully carries on the murder mystery tradition of her now dead dad’s series with this latest installment. Yes, she’s added a woman’s touch by bringing Detective Bernadette (“Bernie”) Manuelito to the fore. And as far as it goes, that’s all good.

Her dad already did 90% of the heavy lifting back in the day by creating Leaphorn & Chee – characters we care about. But frankly, as a Tale Teller herself, she seems to lack the gene. Don’t ask me why. Actually, “why” is probably because it’s not genetic in the first place.  It’s more like a lightning strike. Tony had it. She doesn’t.

Don’t like my analysis?  Go read it for yourself.  Then report back here.  I mean, what good is reading murder mysteries without writing a properly incisive (some might say “venomous”) review?  My take anyway. Your take is up to you.  What, you think I’m gonna do all the work around here? Think again.

 

Reading - #1

 

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I had better luck reading about Nils Shapiro. He’s the detective hero of Matt Goldman’s “The Shallows”. Goldman is a relative newcomer to the mystery-genre. There are a few things you should know about this writer. One, he’s no spring chicken. For many years he wrote material for Jerry Seinfeld and Ellen Degeneres, so he’s got sterling comedy bona fides. But who knew a Jewish detective from the Twin Cities living in a converted coat factory and roaming the sky-ways of downtown Minneapolis could be both funny AND likeable (like Seinfeld, but on a mission?).  Also smart and courageous (like Ellen, but on a mission?).  Nils Shapiro is somebody you not only root for, but can’t wait for the next installment just to see what he’s gonna do and say while bringing the bad guys to justice.  That, my friends, is murder mystery gold.

The plot twists and turns of this one are unexpected while still being – for the most part – believable. OK, the bomb blast in the downtown lawyers’ office was a little over the top.  And the fish eating the eyelids off a corpse in shallow lake water in the opening scene? That was a bit gross – maybe even unnecessary – even when perpetrated on a lawyer.  But other than that….

Oh, and one other thing? It’s set in the present and adroitly addresses the current partisan political climate without ever once mentioning our current POTUS by name.  OK, the bad guys turn out to be a couple of buff, swastika-tattooed racist misfits.  And in the course of the action, there is not just one, not just two, not just three, but FOUR murders.  OK, two of the victims were lawyers, so they don’t really count…

 

But still!

 

Reading - #2

 

The stand-in for “45” in this tale is an heiress to a Minnesota Mining fortune who’s running for Congress.  She not only survives, but may even still get elected despite some of her staff’s involvement in the carnage.  As the action winds down, November is still months away…. and one of the bad guys has escaped. Tune in next time to see what Nils Shapiro does and says.  You’ll be glad you did.  Or at least, _I_ will.

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Stars Align

Some days, the stars align.  Rarely do the Word of  the Day and This Day in History fit together so perfectly.  But today, you get The Donner Party and “bivouac” all in one fell swoop.  And as if that weren’t enough, you also get hard-core linguist-geek bonus-content, here. Who could ask for anything more?  Not me, that’s for sure.

I’m not going to quote from any of the links above. You can click and read for yourself.  But I will say this much about the linguistics article, which is excellent: It helps explain why “bivouac” ultimately has Germanic roots, rather than just the French ones Noah Webster noted.  Whodathunkit?  Not me, that’s for sure.

 

The stars align...
All this, and the Pleiades too:  Stars align.
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Troll

Today’s Word of the Day – “Yooper” – is one that is so new I’m guessing even those fluent in Ojibwa won’t guess the etymology.  A “Yooper” is a native or resident of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. The name comes from the pronunciation of the initials “U.P.” – get it? – and has been in use only about 40 years. Yoopers refer to anyone who lives in the Lower Peninsula as a troll since they live “under” the Mackinac Bridge.  But that nickname is still too much of a regionalism to qualify for entry in most dictionaries.  Still, you just gotta love a little good-natured intrastate rivalry, eh?

 

Troll

A Yooper’s-eye view of a resident of Michigan’s Lower Peninsula.

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Easy A

OK people.  Everybody needs to feel good about themselves.  Am I right?   Some days you just need an Easy A. Well, if you’re like me, then today is your day. I mean, a multiple choice test with only two options – A or B?  And it’s even got a picture to help guide you to the correct answer?  “C’mon, it’ll be fun” (they said).  “How hard can it be?” (they said).  Oh, and also:  “It’s not 10 questions, it’s more like 100 questions.”  But hey, what else you got to do on your day off, huh?

Take the “PhD history” quiz, here.  Then report back in the comments section with your score. That last part about comments?   Very important.  Hey, we’re counting on YOU to Make DEWconsulting.net Great Again.  Don’t let us down!

Full disclosure: I got the ones about “Virgin Queen” and “100 Years War” wrong.  But other than that, smooth sailing. What can I say? Other than maybe,  “I’m a little light on European history.”

And speaking of “a little light…” Why does our POTUS look orange? You will find the correct answer to that burning question right here.

 

Yer welcome.

 

Easy A - bright idea
Energy efficient light bulbs? Really? Whodathunkit?  Not me. And I’m not even a PhD!

 

And remember:

 

“Steve The Mildly Competent” is never correct for ANY question.

 

Ever!

 

Easy A - Washington Delaware
Scored less than 98%?  Dunce!  (jk)
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Clowns

Among the stories on which I’m not going to comment, today there’s this one. It comes from an ad agency in Auckland, New Zealand. That’s where a copy-writer who sensed he was about to be fired brought an “emotional support clown” along to work on the day of his “redundancy meeting.” Full story is here.  Click the link within to hear a DJ’s phone interview with the guy. He is definitely no slouch. Exactly how many clowns were in the room on pink slip day, however? That remains an open question.  Ahem.

 

Sad clowns
“No comment,” I said.  And I meant it.
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Paws Dipped in Flour

Something new today: A poem.  This one comes courtesy of The Writer’s Almanac from Garrison Keillor.  It was forwarded to me by my better half. Although she never got to be a farm wife, she’s always had her head screwed on straight.  Most days, that counts for a whole lot more than canning corn.

 

The farm wife turns off the TV evangelist

 

The Jesus I grew up with
likes to be outside.
If he’s not fishing, he’s picking figs
or showing us his mustard crop.

He prefers dusty roads, the common sparrow,
and lilies of the field.
When he knocks on your door
holding a lantern, you know it’s time
to buckle on overshoes
and go with him to feed the sheep.

But this preacher, who looks straight
into the camera and claims he knows
Jesus, says what he wants
is for me to believe in him
so he can come inside.

That sounds shifty to me.
Like a wolf with his paws dipped in flour.

Jesus who heals the blind
said we will know a tree by its fruit.

– Shari Wagner from The Farm Wife’s Almanac. © Dream Seeker Books, 2019.

 

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Say what you will about Garrison Keillor’s disgrace at the hands of #MeToo, he still knows a good poem when he sees one. And that also counts for a whole lot more than canning corn. Just sayin’.
Rocky Mountain wolf - no flour on paws.
Canis Lupus, no flour on paws.
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Curious

For those of you who are at all curious about what I do professionally these days (I know, I know – you couldn’t care less, right?), there’s a recent article here from “Built in LA” that profiles the folks I work with. In fact, this shot of a smiling DevOps Engineer was taken by a photographer sitting in my cube:

 

Curious? Photo taken from my cube!
Robert Lestak, DevOps Engineer

 

Full disclosure, _I_ was not sitting in my cube at the time. But this is where we all work and eat and play.  And yes, there’s ambient music streaming over the sound system 24X7.  In fact, our new CIO has vowed to turn up the volume.  I’ll be curious to see what that does to productivity.

In the meantime, Battle of the Bands last month was a blast.  OK, truth be told, the acts ranged from the truly awful to the truly awesome.  But the guy who won it was great. And _I_ am not entering next year – to everyone’s great relief.

 

Curious? Battle of the Bands!
 The promo says:  “This is NOT a showcase or audition.” Whew.  That had me worried.

 

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Extra credit:

How many of the artists can you name?

 

Name plates on the cubicles and offices and conference rooms all look alike.  The ones on the conference rooms are named for the artists. I happen to sit between “George Strait” and “Andrea Bocelli.”  Hmmm, I wonder if Shawn Mendes is an Executive VP or an artist?  Ah, “Lorde” – that must be the CIO!