Uber

Back in the days before Uber and Lyft, I used to drive a SuperShuttle van out of LAX.  This was not long after the ’84 Olympics were in LA, and at the time, SuperShuttle was just getting started.  The Supershuttle “bus barn” – where we picked up our vans – looked just like the set of the old TV show “Taxi” starring Judd Hirsch and Danny DeVito with Tony Danza and Marilu Henner – plus the incomparable Andy Kaufman.  Of course, I always saw myself in the Judd Hirsch role because at 6’4″ nobody was ever going to mistake me for Danny DeVito.  But mostly I just loved the freedom of being out on the open road, feeling like I was my own boss.  Because – other than getting pickups from the dispatchers – we pretty much were.

 

 

The bus barn was located on Century Boulevard just outside LAX.  It was right next door to a strip joint called “NUDE NUDES!”  (Hey, you can’t get any more NUDE than that, right?)  I loved starting my daily shift at 4AM, just about the time the dancers from next door were going off shift.  They mostly were bundled inside down jackets (hey, it gets cold in LA at 4AM) while wearing very short cut-off jeans (exotic dancers, after all).  They also wore the same kind of comfortable white basketball sneakers that I did, and carried their red stiletto heels strapped together and slung over one shoulder. I remember them talking and laughing with each other, snapping their gum, heading home.  Meanwhile, I kept my head down and carried a brown paper sack with my lunch in it.  Not everyone is destined for greatness I suppose.

********

 

More than anything, though, I loved talking with my passengers. Most were just business people going on business trips, or regular people going to visit family for the holidays, or maybe headed somewhere on vacation. But some were actually famous – or, at least, semi-famous.

For instance, I took Doc Severinsen’s Band to a gig, complete with all their equipment.  The drums took up most of the space in back.  Doc, of course, was just as much of a snappy dresser in real life as he was on The Tonight Show.

 

 

I took the LA Clippers basketball team (well, some of them) to a home game at the LA Sports Arena – this was before there even was a Staples Center.  And let me tell you, the 7-footers had a heck of a time folding into the back seats of my Dodge RAM van.  But I did get to drive down underneath the Sports Arena to drop them off right outside the locker room door.  So, that kind of made up for no tips.  I said kind of.  Tips are always very important to service people and drivers. Remember this.

I once took Jimmy Buffet’s sister to Jimmy Buffet’s house for Thanksgiving dinner.  She flew in from New Orleans and disdained everything about LA – including all the people with plastic surgery, and the relentlessly balmy weather in late November. What was her problem, anyway? Miss Margaritaville much?  Need a Tummy Tuck? How ’bout a Face Lift?  Hmmmmm?

 

 

Carlos Santana’s drummer once had me wait for him outside a liquor store while he went inside and stocked up for Christmas eve.  I remember that trip mostly because he tipped me fifty bucks.  This was even before he cracked open the whiskey.  I’ve been a huge Santana fan ever since.

********

 

Most interestingly, perhaps, I took Larry Linville home from the airport to his house in Redondo Beach one time. Who is Larry Linville, you ask?  Fans of M.A.S.H. will remember him as the ferret-faced actor who played Major Frank Burns. And yes, he was as much of a sourpuss in real life as he was on TV.  Life imitates art, I guess. Either that or the M.A.S.H. casting director really knew her stuff.

 

 

********

 

HEY, I SAID SEMI-FAMOUS, ALRIGHT?

********

 

Nowadays Uber and Lyft are the new kids in the on-demand transportation block. Practically nobody (except me) takes SuperShuttle to the airport anymore.  But drivers talking with passengers? That hasn’t changed one bit.  Here’s Charger running back Melvin Gordon talking with his Uber driver in Baltimore the day prior to the Ravens-Chargers AFC Wild Card match up – won by San Diego, BTW.  Gotta love it.

 

You go, Melvin.  We love ya, baby.