Lucky

Today is your lucky day.  I’m in a super good mood, so that means you get nothing but jokes. That’s right, you heard me:  Nothing.  But.  Jokes.

Like I said:  Lucky you.

Yer welcome.

 

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1)  A photon is going through airport security.  TSA agent asks if he has any luggage.  Photon says, “No, I’m traveling light.”

2) Two women walk into a bar and talk about the Bechdel test.

3) Heard about that new band called 1023 MB? They haven’t had a gig yet.

4) Heisenberg is speeding down the highway.  Cop pulls him over and asks, “Do you have any idea how fast you were going back there?” Heisenberg says, “No, but I knew where I was.”

5) C, Eb, and G walk into a bar.  Bartender says, “Sorry, no minors.”

6) If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.

7) A linguistics professor says during a lecture, “In English, a double negative forms a positive.  But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative.  However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative.”   Then a voice from the back of the room pipes up:  “Yeah, right.”

8) How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Go fish.

9) Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?

10) What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do at night? He stays up wondering if there really is a dog.

 

 

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Oh, you wanted FUNNY jokes?  Sorry, those cost extra…

<All jokes courtesy of https://www..IFLscience.com>

Hey, don’t blame me – I just work here!