The DP reports here on an upsurge in outdoor activity this week, as the nice weather after the blizzard conspired with the global pandemic to get people up off their keisters and out onto the trails. And in a rare sign of common sense, yet another silver lining has emerged in this time of pandemic: Denver’s shelter-in-place order – which starts tomorrow – has a specific exception for essential activities, which includes “walking, hiking, biking and running … as long as individuals maintain 6 feet of social distance.” Details, here. Imagine that: Public officials using their heads. What next? Well, how about this? From Borowitz of course. The good news just keeps piling up.
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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Taking bold action to safeguard the health of millions of Americans, Dr. Anthony Fauci has tricked Donald J. Trump into believing that there is no Easter this year, Fauci has confirmed.
After hearing Trump declare on Tuesday that he hoped to reopen the country on Easter Sunday, an alarmed Fauci decided to spring into action.
“I ran down to my computer and mocked up a phony 2020 calendar with no Easter on it,” Fauci said. “Then I showed it to Trump and said, ‘There’s a problem with your plan, Mr. President. There’s no Easter this year.’”
According to Fauci, Trump was initially baffled by the news. “How could that be?” Trump asked. “There’s Easter every year.”
“This is a leap year,” the quick-thinking virologist replied.
“I guess I didn’t know it worked that way,” Trump said. “I never go to church.”
Fauci consoled Trump by telling him that, if all goes according to plan, the country could be reopened in time for Easter Sunday, 2021, a suggestion that Trump appeared somewhat reluctantly to accept.
The esteemed epidemiologist said that his dealings with Trump have now entered a new phase. “I’ve given up on containment, and I’m just doing mitigation,” he said.
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News you can use, baby.
And yet another silver lining:
Humor AND exercise, both.
What’ll they think of next, eh?
So funny!!! Thanks for posting this tidbit of good news.