Shoptalk

Only very rarely do I indulge in shoptalk. Today is one of those days, however. So if you fall asleep easily or have an aversion to terms like “program compiler” or “Internet browser” then maybe it’s best you sign off now. Everybody else? You may want to refresh your memory from a post I did last year on password security – here. Then read on if you care about data tracking and security of your personal information.  If you’re anything like me, you’ll be glad you did.

 

The Turing Award Winners

 

Recognize either of these guys?

And no, “Bill and Melinda Gates” is not a correct answer.

Turing Award winners.
Jeffrey Ullmanm and Alfred Aho recently got to split a million bucks. Back in the ’60s they were pioneers in creating the “compilers” that translate programming languages into the ones and zeros that computers understand.  Read about them in a profile of Turing Award winners, here.

 

Quick, answer this question: What browser are you using right now? Chances are, if you’re on an iPhone, it’s probably something like Safari. On a laptop, it might be Chrome or Edge. And if you’re like me, you use Firefox. I know for a fact that very few of you use DuckDuckGo, but you may want to reconsider that after reading the article, here. Because your personal information is at stake. It’s being bought and sold all the time by the likes of Google and Facebook. And their trackers know where you’ve been before. More worrisome, they know where you’re likely to go next. And if that doesn’t bother you, maybe it should. For instance, users of Tinder can now expect to be subject to involuntary background checks as outlined in the article, here. You don’t have to be a big fan of #MeToo to see how this might play out – for better or worse.  And not just for dating apps either.

 

********

 

Thanks for letting me indulge in a bit of shoptalk today.

Tune in tomorrow for a discussion of you car’s extended warranty.

 

Shoptalk - Extended Warranty
How do I know this? (hehehehehe)

 

How to Collect Firewood

To cut enough wood to keep a house warm for the winter, you’ll need to know your way around a chain saw.

 

How To Collect Firewood

 

When I saw this “tip” in the NYTimes, it set me to thinking about my 20-year career as a woodcutter.  You can read their article, here.  Then read my musings below. My guess is most readers of the NYTimes – as well as most readers of this blog – will have little use for that much firewood. Still it’s fun to recall. And just in case you were wondering, the instrument used to hand split firewood is called a “maul,” not an “ax.” I wouldn’t necessarily expect a NYTimes reporter to know that bit of information. But for you, we require precision.  You’re welcome.

 

********

 

When we moved from California to Colorado Springs at the end of 1994, we rented a place on the east side of town that had 17′ ceilings and a wood-burning fireplace in the Great Room. The views of Pikes Peak out the windows looking west were nothing short of spectacular. Anne was pregnant with our 3rd child at the time.  The place had 3 bedrooms.  We were all set. Only one fly in the ointment: If we were to use that fireplace, we had to have firewood.

Luckily, the USDA Forest Service sold firewood permits, four cords for forty bucks. I doubted we’d need that much since we were only recreational users. But hey, maybe the neighbors might need some? Little did I know what I was getting myself into: A decades-long sojourn in the Pike National Forest that would keep me busy for years to come.

 

********

 

I started off with a cheap little 16″ Homelite chainsaw and an undersized 6-lb. maul. I bought a rusted out Chevy Blazer that could only haul half a cord at a time. Pretty soon I was in business.  Literally. The subdivision where we lived was called “Old Farm.” So I printed up flyers and distributed them around the neighborhood advertising “Old Farm Firewood.” Ninety bucks a cord, split, dried, and delivered to your door. Stacking, just ten bucks extra. What a deal!

There was a dog run in back of that house, and we didn’t get our dog until 2001. So that space became our firewood storage area, enough to let 4 or 5 cords cure for a year. The permit was for cutting only standing deadwood, so the beetle-kill I cut was already plenty dry, having  been dead several years by the time I got to it. And demand was strong enough that I was able to move 10 cords that first year and still have enough to keep our fireplace humming all winter long.

The second year I sold 20 cords. By that time I had graduated from a 16″ Homelite to a 20″ Stihl.  I moved up from a 6# to an 8# maul.  And I added a cutoff ’65 Chevy pickup trailer so I didn’t have to make quite so many trips 42 miles each way from Old Farm to the cutting area near Westcreek.

 

How To Collect Firewood - Trailer

 

********

 

By year seven of my woodcutting side-hustle, we had moved across town to Mountain Shadows where we bought a house. One of the requirements we had for our realtor was that there had to be a big enough back yard for 10 cords of firewood. (FYI a cord is a volume 4′ x 4′ x 8′ of tightly stacked wood.) Also, of course, the place had to have a wood-burning fireplace. Check, check, and double-check.

My truck was now upgraded to an extended-bed Dodge RAM 1500. Between that and the pull-behind trailer, I could transport a full cord at a time. And since it’s always good to have a partner when you’d otherwise be out in the woods alone, that’s when I brought Darwin aboard. He wasn’t much help stacking.  But he was always ready and willing when the time came to hop in the truck and head up the hill. I’m not sure who got more exercise, him or me. But by the end of a day cutting, we both came home bone tired and happy.

 

“Did you say it’s time to go? O boy o boy o boy!”

 

********

 

Probably my peak firewood cutting years were right around Y2K. That’s when people thought the world was gonna end by computer meltdown. So they stockpiled canned goods and tried to become as self-sufficient as possible. Nothing like a wood-stove and cord of dry split Douglas Fir stacked out back to give you the illusion of being ready for the apocalypse. Fifty cords a year was the most I could manage in my spare time, mostly on weekends and holidays since I did have a day job. The cutting season usually lasted from June 1st until sometime after Christmas when the snow got too deep to get my truck in and out of the cutting area without getting stuck.

Over the course of those years I got in really great shape (BMI under 24).  And I made some extra money. But even at $150 a cord, the point was always more about the health benefits and a sense of entrepreneurship than about striking it rich or world domination. And that alone-time in the woods with just me, Darwin, and my Stihl?  Priceless.

 

 

Since we moved to the Denver suburbs five years ago I’m retired from the firewood business. My yard has enough space for only one Mountain Ash tree.  And forest fires – Hayman (2002), Waldo Canyon (2012), and Black Forest (2013) – have decimated the areas I used to cut. The Stihl, the maul, and the dog are all history. Gone too are truck and trailer. Nowadays I burn only natural gas in my fireplace. Sadly, my BMI has crept back up over 24. Coincidence? I think not. But I prefer to look on the bright side: At least we now all know the difference between a maul and an ax.  That’s gotta be worth something at least.

A Little Spooky

Alright, I’m just gonna come right out and say it: It’s always a little spooky to see your own name in the obituaries. But then when you start delving into it and find all the parallels? Well, let’s just call it more than a little spooky. Turns out, Daniel Wolf died recently of a heart attack at age 65 at his home on the western slope of the Rockies.

 

A Little Spooky - Ridgway, CO
Daniel Wolf on the terrace of his house in Ridgway, CO.

 

He was born poor in Cheyenne Wyoming but grew up rich in Denver thanks to the fact that his father bought and sold lucrative oil and gas leases.  He went to Bennington College, majored in art, and ended up with his own gallery in New York City.  But he became famous for his role in accumulating a trove of rare photographs for the Getty Museum in Los Angeles. Oh, and along the way he married Maya Lin who designed the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in DC.

 

A Little Weird - with wife, Maya Lin
Daniel Wolf with his wife, the artist Maya Lin.

 

Though he made his name as an art dealer, Mr. Wolf was at his core a collector, not just of photographs but of whatever caught his eye. He built significant collections of pre-Columbian American art, Chinese ceramics and Frank Lloyd Wright furniture. His home in Colorado was filled with gems and minerals, some of which he found himself in the surrounding mountains.

 

********

 

If interested, you can read the full story here. Or, you can just wait until your own name shows up in the obituaries. Like I said, either way, it’s more than a little spooky.

Genius

If you can’t think of a word, say ‘I don’t know the English word for it.’

That way folks will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.

Also this further wisdom…

 

Keith Richards - Genius

Golf Genius

Not Too Bad – All Things Considered

I can’t vouch for the spirit of British “optimism” as captured in the FB video link here. Maybe someone else can? But it is pretty funny. And not too bad – all things considered. I mean, c’mon: The sun is out and it’s 65 degrees here today, less than a week after the last big snow. What’s not to like, eh?

 

Not Too Bad - All Things Considered
Carpenter’s Peak Trail after the last snow.  Photo Credit: RGW.

 

Unless of course you picked Ohio State in your Final Four.

Then, it’s pretty bad. (Right Mike?) Ah well.

Better luck next time.  (Go Zags!)

Me, I’m going for a hike.

Bracketology – Quiz Questions For the Hoops Obsessed

It’s the Ides of March, and we all know what that means – et tu, Brute? Right, you got it: It’s time for March Madness. And for all you college hoops fanatics, that means it’s time to indulge in a little bit of Bracketology. But first, it’s time for a little bit of college hoops history. Maybe even throw in a few quiz questions? You betcha. So: Ready? Set?

 

Go! 

 

This year there is one undefeated team entering the NCAA Men’s Basketball tournament. If they win it all, they can complete the first undefeated season since I was a senior in high school. Which brings us to our first set of quiz questions.

 

  1. What’s the mascot for the currently undefeated NCAA hoops team?
  2. What’s their more common nickname that begins with the letter “Z”?
  3. What was the last undefeated Div. 1 NCAA Men’s Basketball team?
  4. What’s their nickname, and who was their feisty coach?
  5. What year did I graduate high school?

 

During the 1960’s and ’70’s there was a particular Men’s Div. 1 NCAA hoops team with a particular coach who completed FOUR perfect 30-0 seasons. Can you name the school, the coach, and their mascot?

And while we’re at it, there’s a Div. 1 Women’s hoops team with an even more amazingly dominant record – SIX perfect seasons ranging over three decades. Can you name the school, the coach, and their mascot? Hints below.

 

Bracketology - Bruin Bracketology - Huskies

 

I know there is at least one college hoops geek out there who knows the answer to all of these questions. Is it you? Full details on perfect seasons here.

And while we’re at it, have you filled out your bracket yet? Play-in games start Thursday, so don’t delay.

 

One Hour Less To Enjoy The Memes

So many memes, so little time. After tonight, you’ll have one hour less.

Turn your clocks forward, folks!

Also, enjoy the memes.

 

One Hour Less
Turn your clocks ahead one hour tonight!

 

********

 

One Hour Less - St. Pats One Hour Less - NRA and NEA.

Favorites? Anyone?

Bonus Math Meme below.

One Hour Less - Peanuts

Call Me Crazy – You Know Who You Are

Call me crazy, but something about this photo struck me as funny.

Story here.

 

Call Me Crazy - Wow.
CDC SAYS FULLY VACCINATED CAN GATHER WITHOUT MASKS OR SOCIAL DISTANCING!!!

 

And while we’re at it, I found the following hilarious even without reference to any particular group or set of convictions.

 

(You know who you are.)

 

My better half has already had her 2nd dose.

Me, I’m #35,000 on the wait list.

Happy Tuesday anyway.

The Jokic Whisperer And The Weight Room Beast

First there was Tim Grover and Michael Jordan. Then there was Alex Guerrero and Tom Brady.  Now comes the story of Felipe Eichenberger and Nicola Jokic. Today’s DP story is titled “The Jokic Whisperer.” It details how the Denver Nuggets’ goofy but lovable Serbian center has become a “weight-room beast” just as he’s entering the NBA MVP conversation.  What do all these stories have in common? Like his hyper-competitive counterparts before him, Jokic’s bond with his strength-and-conditioning coach is central to his rise as an All Star.  An increasingly lean BMI and a laser focus on diet and conditioning shows how a body that’s anything but All Star material can transcend its own natural limits and confound the critics.

 

Jokic Whisperer - MJ Strong.
In response to the Detroit Pistons’ Bad Boy pressure, MJ got serious about weight training. Eventually he went on to win 6 NBA championships and become a billionaire. Coincidence? I think not.

 

Jokic Whisperer - TB12
Tom Brady’s trainer and co-architect in the TB12 lifestyle brand, Alex Guerrero, is a fixture with the QB in Tampa Bay. Not coincidentally, they have won 7 Super Bowls together.

 

Jokic Whisperer
Photo: AAron Ontiveroz/The Denver Post.

Nikola Jokic of the Denver Nuggets works out with strength and conditioning coach Felipe Eichenberger (AKA “The Jokic Whisperer) before the first quarter of a game against the San Antonio Spurs. So what are you waiting for? Let’s pump some iron!